After not knowing what the hell was wrong for over half a year, and finally figuring out the problem, slaving over my computer now for FOUR FREAKIN HOURS trying to fix it, I finally got it. MY WEBSITE IS NOW OFFICIALLY BACK ON THE MAP!!! HURRAY TO ME!!!

I will be updating as soon as I can with a new layout and a new post. It'll be sometime by the end of this week, so check on friday unless I give a myspace announcement saying otherwise. Thanks folks, glad to be back ;)


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YAY FOR UPDATES

Ok ok, so I haven't updated in a few months, lol. Sorry folks, and to those of you who still check up on this thing. In all honesty, I just didn't really feel like it. My life, for awhile anyway, was a complicated mess of of things, and I didn't really feel like sitting down to explain it all. I still don't, so I'll just tell you what's current and you'll be happy with that, ne? ^^;;

I'm dating this guy, Jon, who I was introduced to a few weeks ago by my friend Meg. Remember, my savior friend from freshman year? Well, most of sophomore year we didn't really connect much -- we were both extremely busy. However, this year she and I have been talking almost every other day, and hanging out every weekend if we can. We both still have hectic schedules, but when I asked her what made her reach out to me, she told me that it was so lame for us not to be just as close as we were freshman year, and that she missed having me around. THAT, my friends, is fuckin awesome. I have yet to hear from one person in particular, whose name shall not be mentioned, but I'm done reaching out to people and getting shit back -- with Meg, though, it paid off. Sooooo yeah. I'm taking two graphic design classes for my major this quarter, one is typography and the other is a Flash class. The teacher decided today to make me his lacky, lol, since he didn't want to re-teach what he had just previously done in the past few weeks of class, and told me that for extra credit, I could tutor people and help them catch up. That was freakin' AWESOME, especially since my self esteem has really been in the gutter in terms of my technological skills and design practices. *sigh* anyway, I'm probably not making a lot of sense... there's a bug on my lamp, and it's creeping me out.

That's pretty much all that's going on with me. I'm also taking a marketing class focused on consumer behavior. There's a deaf kid in our class, so people come in and sign for him. It's really cool, but EXTREMELY distracting, lol. Especially since they sit up in front of the classroom where the teacher lectures. So, while I'm supposed to be listening to what the teacher is saying and looking up at what's on the projector, I'm busying myself trying to guess which words these sign language people are signing, lol. Yay for ADD!!

Umm.. what else. Oh yeah, I'm trying to get into the habit of cooking for myself since I have my own kitchen now. It's actually a lot harder than I thought -- not the cooking itself, just the remembering and the getting-off-my-ass-to-do-it thing. I've lost weight because I'm so lazy!! hahaha.

Ok, that's all I can think of for now. To those of who you I talk to almost everyday, I'm extremely grateful. For those of you who haven't made the effort, whatever -- I'm done wasting my time on wondering whether or not my friendship means a shit to you.


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LIFE IS A BASKET OF BUTTERFLIES

Hello lovely fans of mine! I really didn't know how much I had until now! Appearantely more people actually read this site more than I thought. CAUTION: THIS POST IS ANGRY BUT IS NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR. Meaning, if I didn't specifically say your name with the word "douche" next to it, do not freak out on me because I will hurt you physically. Thank you

I haven't been doing much of anything lately, aside from going to and from work. Truth be told, I'm still in quite a depression spell, and although it's getting better slowly as the days go by, I still don't have any energy, and much less any motivation, to do anything with anyone. So all of you who are taking this withdrawl from social gatherings PERSONALLY, please don't -- waste your time on something else, because when I'm ready I'll let yall know. That's also the reason I haven't updated in a while. I don't like to "advertise" my depressive and shitty life state to everyone, but I guess since I've been getting so many "You don't care about me! WAHH", then I guess it's appropriate for me to let you all know what's actually going on. And speaking of which, for those of you who I have already spoke to about this withdrawl of mine AND STILL insist that I don't care, or that I'm a bad friend, shut the hell up! I DO care about you because I was told way too often when I was younger how me being depressed brings other people down too, and that no one would want to be around me if I continue to act like that, and that I'm frankly just no fun. Yeah, because I need more of that crap in my life. So please, if you want to continue a friendship wtih me, great! I'd really appreciate it for when I get back on my feet again. But until that time, you'll just have to be patient. If I tell you I wanna do something and then later that day or week tell you I'm not in the mood, TRUST ME, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD. It has nothing to do with you, and if any of you think it does, then you're all full of shit and should go flush it out your ass before I stab your soul with my rage. Thanks!

I really do miss hangin out with those who have made an effort to contact me, I just psychologically can't -- not yet anyways. I'm really just pissed off at people in general, no one in particular really. Ya know those people who are usually giddy all the time anyway, who say shit like -- "why are you depressed? you need to just go out and do something to feel better! THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS" Woah, really? Just like that, huh? FUCK YOU. And for those of you who've made even more jolly good friends to add to that already long list of yours during college, congrats. But you should hear about the last few months of MY college experience this past year -- that outta suck the happiness and spark out of your life for a whole weekend.

Doin swell,
Amanda